2017 so far

I’m sorry to say but 2017, so far, has proven to be a terrible year. This is the very first thing I have written all year; I’m sorry to those who “follow” me, but I’m doing the best I can. 2017 began with me in hospital;

On December 20th 2016, I fell, in my own home, in our bedroom, and broke my hip. I knew instantly what had happened and yelled out to my wife, Chris, to ring for an Ambulance. The pain was instantaneous and just awful, when I was laying where I fell, I fought to maintain my consciousness despite such horrendous pain, I thought to myself “only old people break hips?” and then “well you goose you must be old.” The Ambulance arrived and the Ambo’s gave me a mask with one of those green stick things attached to it. I remembered they give these Green sticks to women in labour to breathe on. I have to admit that stuff is awesome and I asked the ambo if I could buy these as I thought it would be a good thing to have around. Sadly, no, but at least I got a laugh. A second ambulance was called as there was no way just two ambos could move me from the position I had landed in the doorway of our bedroom. Additional pain medication was administered intravenously and brought me great relief.

I don’t remember the arrival at Blacktown Hospital or much of what happened in Emergency other than the extreme pain of being transferred between bed and X-ray table and back. I do remember a doctor explaining the hip replacement procedure and that what is known as a partial or half replacement was my best option. The operation could not be done until the 22nd and I was apprehensive about waiting in pain for two days but Chris later reminded me that whilst in ER I was given a nerve block which reduced the pain somewhat and allowed me to cope waiting for my surgery.

Two days later while an OT was talking to Chris at my bedside, I was wheeled from the ward to the operating theatre. All I remember of the procedure is laying in the anaesthetic bay being told “I’ll just give you a little something” … I woke in recovery and all seemed fine though at first I didn’t believe I’d had the surgery. I joked with people that my plan to become a robotic person was on track (considering a total knee replacement L side in 2010 now the L. hip…).

That night I stopped a nurse who was attempting to give me a 100mg injection of Clexane, a drug commonly used to prevent unwanted blood clotting. I was very familiar with this drug and it’s use, and I felt prompted to challenge it, as I have a history of blood clots, and I had been prescribed it on several occasions, but never at such a high dose and I sensed this was totally wrong. The nurse had no choice but to say it was what the doctor had ordered. I kept challenging this dosage every time it was given, which was twice a day.

So, a day or two later I had the physiotherapists come along and get me to do stand-ups-sit downs and walking using the large upper-arm frame I started with a 10 meter walk and 10 stand-ups-sit downs. To doing 20 stand-ups-sit downs and walking 65 meters. I know that this sounds like ‘Oh big deal’. But with a new joint that you have to learn to trust and rely on is a different matter having this on my “weak” side (left over from the stroke I had in 2004) where I also have a total knee replacement is something you have to mentally fight you have to know the facts and then literally walk in that knowledge. Throughout my time in Blacktown Hospital I was seen by a small army of doctors, but one pair remain stuck in my mind. One was a tall slender woman with light red hair and her partner was a short slender Chinese lady who turned out to be Dr Chow, who stayed as my overseeing doctor until I finally got to go home on January 30th. I was shocked at our first meeting as they introduced themselves as Geriatricians, I thought ‘hang on I’m only 62.’ They went on to explain how as it was a broken hip as result of a fall and I was over 50 that they got involved.

It was on the 30th of December I was transferred The Hills Private Rehabilitation Hospital where I will undergo intensive rehab. I told my Chris that I had bad pain in my left knee, which was overshadowing the hip pain and therefore a bit strange. I had low blood pressure, fever and was imagining things, medically the doctors were testing for various things; I was sure that someone had stolen my phone and was on the lookout for the “thief”. There were some medical issues that arose; my blood pressure was low, something I had never experienced. I also had an extremely large haematoma in my left thigh.I was transferred to The Hills Private hospital and in the ER I feinted, vomited and was generally “unwell.” I didn’t really understand why I was here and it was several weeks before I understood that I was quite ill.

As for the rehab I knew I was in for days of exercises where I will say ‘you have to be kidding me’ but I was determined to come out of this not just walking but walking better than I was before I fell. I realised it was just day 8 out from surgery, but I am determined to reinvent myself through this painful experience into being a better Max and to being a more positive person for the sake of life and for the purposes that God has for me.

Well, I was in The Hills Private hospital for some 16 days, where I underwent 4 blood transfusions all to get my Haemoglobin from the 74 I presented, to be closer to the 150-180 of a normal healthy male (my excuse is well while being a male I am not normal, nor partially healthy).

So after 16 days in The Hills Private hospital my Haemoglobin hit 104 and Dr Chow was happy enough for me to be transferred back to The Hills Private Rehabilitation hospital. We made the choice of this hospital so Dr Chow who had been overseeing me since I was in Blacktown Hospital, I could have held out to go to St Josephs in a different part of the city; we were thinking of this option as I have been going to St Josephs for physiotherapy and medical reviews for some years. However, keeping Dr Chow as my overseeing Doctor rated higher at that time.

So my 4th hospital in just 4 weeks was again The Hills Private Rehabilitation hospital. I began with daily trips to the gym where I laid on a “bed”, more like a vinyl covered piece of thick plywood. I had my leg pulled this way and that and I used my muscles to fight against those movements coupled with this was my “walking to and from the gym using this large ungainly forearm frame. I tried to walk further each day, some days I could while on other days I was just too worn out. I confess that having a “rest” day from Physio on Sundays was a dream.

While a terrible time I always opt to dig my teeth in and get through such times as I don’t believe in giving in. This experience reminded me of two Biblical characters Joseph and Daniel.

Joseph from being just a boy just stuck to his faith in God, he never wavered nor did he seek to improve his life by nefarious actions or lying; yet he rose to being the second most important position in the land despite several attempts to bring him undone.

Likewise, Daniel, though taken captive and taken to a different country, never doubted God and he never abandon his faith again despite the plans of other people to bring him down to death itself.

I find my heart gladdened by these accounts and am reminded of a verse in Hebrews that has calmed me over the years when trouble was at the door.

Hebrews 10:39

But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.

It is now August 3rd and this is the first time I have written all year! Saying that makes me feel guilty and that I’ve disappointed my readers. If that is true then I’m truly sorry. After hospital things settled into routine of physio two days a week, grandchildren and trying to cope. One of my doctors put forward a case for me to change a medication. I did and it was a disaster. I had to revert to the prior drug. Likewise they have had me on a drug to help with my neuropathic pain. But our own research has dug up plenty of evidence that some of what I have been battling in the last few months could well be attributed to this drug. So no we go off tomorrow to confront my doctor with this and seek a plan for withdrawing from it. I have to be totally honest with you I’m scared; as I have no idea just how bad this will be I’ve been through withdrawal from another drug about 4 years ago and it was hell on earth.

I have been experiencing flashbacks of my early childhood years that leave me angry, frustrated and often tears. As I said it’s been a tough year. I fully expect things to get much better by the time December rolls around and my faith tells me that better things are coming. I value your prayers.


Sorry – first for 2017

Greetings all, Firstly, I apologise for being so very slack in writing this year, it’s been complicated.

I had a major health crisis just before Christmas and spent 6 weeks in hospital. Since getting home I have been to one medical appointment after another and I’m still attending Physio two days per week.

I will have the full story out soon, please don’t lose touch with my site. Speaking of my website I am in need of some help from someone who knows their way around WordPress far better than my feeble attempts, if you happen to know someone, please contact me.

Many blessings


You don’t always get what you want

Last week, my wife took me on a small trip that I had been wanting to make for about 2 years. I had made contact with the local historical society there, a town about a 3-hour drive from where we live, because I was after certain details from the town’s past. I am in the process of writing a novel and I had selected this town as the destination that my main character chooses to relocate to after he marries. I put in lots of research hours in from home, from our state library and from our state records department.

I was left with unanswered questions mainly about a few names of certain town officials and dignitaries. I had laboured to find these details as I am trying to follow the idea that although my character is a fabrication of mine, I truly want the historical places and people to be true and accurate.

However, we visited the rooms of the historical society only to be met with blank stares; despite telling the lady of my prior contact with a certain member, who had been very helpful and who I had informed that I would be visiting them on certain dates. Only to be told they could not help me.

My frustration quickly grew into anger as we got back into our vehicle I vented a little to my wife, who lovingly pointed out the obvious: limited staff, all volunteers, and what does it really matter if some of these names are just made up by me? I went on with my little speech about being as authentic as possible, while calming myself with the notion “does it really matter Max? Would making up one or two names of people only mentioned once or twice in a long novel really make a difference?”

I answered myself by the same method I’ve often used: asking my Papa God. He smiled at me as I sat in the sun for a few hours relaxing. I learned that it didn’t matter to Him and therefore it shouldn’t matter to me. Relax, keep writing by all means, but do not get to the point of missing the point. My connectedness with Him is the single most important thing I can have; ever.

He has never been the one to harm me, curse me, leave me empty-handed or even poor. He has always led me through the dark valleys and has been at the other side to comfort me and to once again prove to me that whenever I have shifted my gaze from Him to anything else however valuable or honourable, is when the wheels have started to fall off, to the point of it all being so silly that I feel like a dope for even thinking the way I had been.

My writing is a matter of me refocusing on Him and as I dig into that relationship, not only do I find my answers to my life, I find things to write about. So to answer my own dilemma; no it doesn’t matter if a name or two are made up, but since we got back home and I began hitting online resources I actually found myself searching names in a different way than I had previously tried and bingo I started to find the names I was hoping to find by visiting the town. Does this mean we went to the trouble and expense of visiting for nothing? No, it is a beautiful part of our state and it was great to see the place and just be there for a while watching different scenery for a change and making friends with a few horses that live on the property where we stayed and coming to terms with just how hard it is for my wife to take me away like that; me being physically disabled and unable to help with loading and unloading the car, unable to cook and needing her help 50 times a day in many ways I wonder will we get to do such trips in the future?

I don’t know the answer, my disability is a serious consideration but I’m quite certain that my Father has the answer to all those questions, fears and unknowns. We all need to remember, on a daily or hourly or even minute by minute basis, that He is the reason we do what we do, or He should be. It is His love that fills my soul day after day and He has been for a long time now and I am one lucky duck. Or should I say blessed one…

Marriage Equality

Marriage equality is the hot topic both here in Australia and in other countries and I believe it will only get hotter as people become polarised even by their own thinking.

I have seen and read a great many angry and unkind posts on Social Media and articles of hate lately; I just want to say my piece as a Christian and a Pastor by calling. I think many Christians are falling into error over this topic. We must remember that sin is just that: sin. There is no sin worse than any other sin, no scale of sin where we get to look at Joy’s or Fred’s life and point the finger and say ‘O boy, Fred just scored a 10/10 he’s in trouble.’ Yet I don’t see posts on Social media against Christian Liars, yet I’ve known Christians who were lying constantly, as I have known Christians who stole yet many fail to recognise that using work time to do your personal calls or emailing is theft. Time is money most people are paid an hourly rate, even if you are not paid on an hourly basis time is still valuable and using your employers time for personal use without permission is theft. As much as it may well offend some Christians that homosexuality is no worse than those who tell porkies. Maybe it’s time to begin treating these people as we treat all others? The answer is not; I say again the answer is NOT quoting Bible passages to condemn and as you are condemning feel better in yourself because you have not fallen into that horrid sin and scored a 10/10; If you feel the need to back up your indoctrinated thought with passages from either testament, the you are missing the entire point of love one another as I have loved you. John 13:34-35

It is high time we live-out Bible passages about loving one another, regardless of who ‘they’ are or what ‘they’ have done? Love must be the better answer; the only answer.

Love is the answer, if Christ could allow himself to be treated so horribly and endure all that he did (took all the sin of all upon himself for all of time) then surely we can be big enough to look at others who are yet to know the love of Christ and act lovingly towards them i.e. people who’s lives are more messy than our own and who’s life may well not change after you have displayed love to them. These same Christians very possibly get lost in worship on a Sunday morning and pretend to be the person they are not. Sad isn’t it? We support missions, we support all kind of things but there are Christians that run scared when it comes to this topic. I have even had it said to me that it – ‘marriage equality’ would bring down our society.

My thoughts on that are; Oh Pleeaaasssee. It frightens me that there is a person somewhere in your life that is only ever going to understand Christianity by the way you or I treated them today.

Once there was a new pastor to a large church, he was young but they believed he was the right man. On the first Sunday he stood up to preach his first sermon and said ‘love one another.’ Then he sat down, the elders were a little taken back but thought it was best to say nothing. On the next Sunday morning at the time to preach he stood again and said ‘love one another.’ This time the elders were a little phased but cooler heads reigned and it was not spoken about. On the next Sunday morning at the time to preach he stood again and with force said ‘love one another.’ The Elders were ready they stood united to tell this young man a thing or two. When they asked him ‘Pastor, you have said the same three word ‘sermon’ for the last three Sundays.’ The young pastor looked at them and calmly said ‘that’s right, that is my first point. When they get that right I’ll move along.’

I know that’s somewhat corny, but the message is clear ‘The Church’ is guilty of many things folks, but loving the unlovable should not be one of them. It’s time we the church of now turn this on it’s head stop being so all self righteous and start using the Love App.

I’m going to say something else a little awkward If we put the amount we spend on up keeping our bricks and mortar churches into say feeding the desperately poor, then there would be countless lives saved and forever changed.

Grant anything to anyone, whatever, just as those of us that call ourselves Christians to have enough decency to love first, to think lovingly before we open our mouth and make pronouncements on behalf of all. Please judge me however you wish too as I am not so important; but please have the decency to check your heart in the area of how you love prior to making your pronouncement. Then remember love first always.

12 year Reflection

There have been many times over the past 12 years that I could have simply said enough is enough and found some way to put an end to my pain and suffering; I am in a high level of pain 24/7, most of my pain in neuropathic as a direct result of the stroke I survived 12 years ago today. However, each time I have been able to dig deep into my relationship with papa God and find the strength to keep forging on with life. I made a decision some 25 years ago that I would never give up, ever. This was made at a terrible time in my life and involved my family and a church. The church had treated me, as their pastor, in an unchristian manner and caused us not just a terrible financial loss but loss of our home and caused a location move we did not wish to make. A friend gave me a card with a Scripture reference written on it it was Hebrews 10:36-39

You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 37 For, “In just a little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay.” 38 And, “But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back.”39 But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.

Why did I make such a decision at such a stressful time?

I don’t see it as any big deal to be totally open, it reflects my upbringing, my ever stoic Mother who endured being raised by a Father who was a WW1 veteran and would have been suffering PTSD in one form or another, then married my Father a WW2 veteran, who, when I look back was also suffering a form of PTSD. So, she was getting a double whammy. She was totally devoted to my Father regardless of his strange and demanding ways, and stayed by his side until he died, 61 years at his side.

So Mum set a standard of not giving in and of keeping going regardless. In my reflections on my younger life I really don’t understand why she just didn’t take us two boys and leave. It would have been very easy and we could have fitted in at her mother’s quite easy. But, my Mother would never have done such a thing; she stayed in an abusive, controlling situation because she had said those words ‘for better or for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish from this day forward until death do us part’ only in King James English. My mother modelled not giving up so that day when I came so very close to taking my life in a very violent manner, ended up with me deciding to never, never, never giving up in my life. That reference from Hebrews 10 is stuck in my head, clearly telling me that I am not one of those. I won’t lie to anyone I still have bad days; such chronic pain drives people to all kinds of behaviour in order to cope. My journey with chronic pain began in 1993 when I came a cropper off my Harley Davidson, my left leg was smashed badly, both feet had identical crush injuries, I had compression fractures to T5 & 6, although they were not picked up for over 2 years because I kept on telling my Dr about back pain and eventually X-rays showed the fractures. The specialist said I was just a small fraction off being a paraplegic. I eventually went to a pain clinic around 1996/7 and the head of that clinic read all the answers to the hundreds of questions they asked me, and said ‘you fight this pain in your head don’t you?’ I replied that I did, he behaved so strangely, kind of excited then said to me ‘one day your mind will just stop coping’ I didn’t believe him. I did fall over with stress, again, a different church a different set of circumstances granted but still I had to dig deep, take the time, get back to 100% and go again. I have never denied my weaknesses nor the fact that I live with physical pain. I never deny that, but overall I am a survivor, I have beaten depression, PTSD and a few other letters in random order as well. One of the things I’ve learnt is that my simply showing up every week at church is a testimony; it was only very recently that I understood this spiritual effect of my never giving up that it had a testimonial effect. That simply because I just keep going, that I keep turning up to church every week; I do what I do I’m here for my family, in my writing and in the online encouraging I do, not just has merit but it gives testimony to who I am and the power of the Christ who lives in me and for all to take note, that come what may I will never, never, never give up.



A Brief Hello

Hi folks, I haven’t written to everyone in a while so this is not long.

Firstly, I have recently accepted that my prophetic calling needs to be recognised and accepted by me firstly before I can expect other people to accept it. I have been “moving in the prophetic” for around 45 years, but I would seldom mention it to anyone but myself. I began painting about a year ago after wanting to paint for years and years.However, recently I

However, recently I attended a Prophetic Art workshop. This not only help equip me but more so the impartation to paint prophetically. Now it’s a small start but it’s happening.

You can see it here

Secondly, if you did not receive a welcome email after you signed on I am so sorry, I’m new to WordPress, but you can go to the Freebies Page here and get anything that is free.

I am working hard on my first novel, so please be patient, I’m up to 85k words so hopefully not too much more locked away in my office away from the world.

Be blessed


Blueprint or Blank sheet?

I have always held to a particular belief that God does not have a blueprint for my life despite verses like Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Ephesians 2:10 tells us

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

But, I could never find the words other than muttering on, under my beard, about Free Will. I’ve always encouraged people to search their own heart and ask God what to do. However, that is a bit on the wishy washy side of explanations. I wanted more so I read the Bible over and over privately in my own room at night. I came on verses like Revelation 13:8

All inhabitants of the earth will worship the beast–all whose names have not been written in the Lamb’s book of life, the Lamb who was slain from the creation of the world.


If God knew before he had said, “let there be” what Jesus would do and how he would respond before the world’s foundation was laid, who are we to argue and who are we to doubt he has anything less for us. Then this week arrived, I think it was Tuesday when I read something and I immediately grabbed it and said very loudly to myself ‘that’s it!’ It was the simple marrying if two words Plan and Purpose. I was staggered I had not said it myself, God does not have a Plan for your life but He does have a Purpose for your life.

This is simply because God never short-circuits our Free Will. If He had a laid out Blueprint, I tend to use the word Blueprint rather than plan as my training was in one of the Engineering skills and we used Blueprints, then where would our Free Will be? It would be impossible for us to please God; but God did not create a race of robots He created us in His image, i.e. a being with intelligence and the free will to be creative, follow him or not. If the blueprint is true then your Free Will would be gone; yet He never circumvents that Free Will, it is always intact.

In Hebrews 11:13 we find:

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth.

In Genesis we have the creation story, Adam & Eve created without sin yet with free will, this is self-evident as they had the option to disobey, therefore free will. But to take the leap into God has a Blueprint for your life then means that you have to get every single decision 100% correct for if you even get even one minor decision wrong then you are totally out of His will and then it is impossible to get back into His will. Let me ask this have you ever made a mistake?

This brings me back to God not having a complete, meaning every single decision, plan for your life i.e. a Blueprint; but He does have a Purpose for your life and that purpose is to live your life in a way that brings glory and honour to Jesus.

If you search the World Wide Web you find a whole lot of confusing and conflicting stuff. So, I’d counsel you to prayer and Bible reading and dispense with the search for someone who holds your view on this and every other subject. I could not care less what Joe Blogs has to say. Rather I am leaning on my lifetime (46 years) spent walking with Jesus, always listening and being open to the Holy Spirit’s teaching, even when it makes me very uncomfortable. You know I can clearly see back into my life quite some years prior to my “official” acceptance of Jesus where the Holy Spirit taught me stuff. I don’t doubt it I know it for a fact and I’d bet that there are many people who could testify to just this that they received instruction from the Holy Spirit before they had accepted Jesus. Upon reflection I see these times as precious and sacred moments; yes I know you can rationalise these off as God being Omnipotent that He knew that I was going to accept Jesus anyway. Well of course He did, but I still had my Free Will.

Acts 16:6

Paul and his companions travelled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia.

So the Holy Spirit wasn’t telling them to do but what not to do, giving us the idea that we are free to choose. When I was in my early 20’s I did the rebellious thing, I chose to do it. I Drank heavily, caroused around and just did my level best to ignore God; I had taken something personally which was never meant to be taken that way. It had not been planned it just kind of happened and rolled on for about three years. This all came to a head one night when a friend of mine from my old church, J, and I went out to get pizza and she asked me straight out “So how are you doing with God?” I was taken back because at that time in my life NO ONE had the courage to go to that topic with me, and I mean no one else had taken the bit between the teeth and risked asking the question. I went home soon after she said that and I spent a restless night dreaming about church and God stuff. The next day was Sunday in the afternoon I rang her and asked “can I go to church with you tonight?” J was quick to say “yes and I’ll pick you up.” We sat together around the middle of the church, it was not the church I had been attending for some years but it was the Anglican Church I grew up in, it was a communion service. When came the time to move up to the communion rail I stayed put, with tears in my eyes, I just could not go up. A hand touched my shoulder and a well-known man behind me asked “Max are you coming up for Communion?” I answered him “G. I would just be a hypocrite.” He said, “Join the club.” I did not go up for Communion, but I sat there looking at those windows and clearly hearing the call of the Holy Spirit and I very quietly, alone and unassisted, recommitted my life to Jesus and to his church. The Westminster Shorter Catechism the goto for conservative Christian Doctrine answers questions the first one being:

Q: What is the chief end of man?

A: Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.

I love that bit on the end and to enjoy him forever it is like the seal on a legal document. There stamp it’s legal, off you go…

So relax, my uptight friend, God is on your side, He is not out there looking for a slight wrong turn so He can smite you, He is actually cheering you on to bigger and greater things, every time you stop to chat to a neighbour or someone at the bus stop or on the train, He yells out to a nearby angel “Oh come and look at my wonderful servant xxx isn’t he/she just marvellous?”

Remember this, God is looking for you to be a carrier of His Grace and a lover to this hurting world; don’t be discouraged with a failure here or there, that’s OK, I never learned the guitar without making mistakes, I bet that every person ever to master anything that requires a learned skill, like a trade has made mistakes. When I was an electrician I made stacks of mistakes but over time doing similar tasks I became very good at them and so it is with our witnessing or our street ministry or more hopefully our taking Grace into our world that we will learn from our errors, our rejections when we offer to pray for a person, but that should not deter us from pressing on.

So press on my friend in the sure knowledge that Father God has a Purpose for your years here on earth, the plan He leaves to you.


Cheers Max

Talk about taking time to reflect

Talk about taking time to reflect!

I’m in a situation in which I’m stuck, I am, after all, a disabled 61-year-old man on the pension, how much reflecting can I handle?

I had four clear career changes in my working years, I rolled with each one and did the best I could possibly do. I’m not the least bit morose about my working life; it was what it was, simple. Yes I possibly, in hindsight, made a better choice here or there, but I’m not beating myself up about it. The facts revolving around becoming disabled are not in question to me, but managing day-to-day life is a concern. This year 2015 has been tough I have fallen on six occasions; I know that may not seem a big deal to you but think about this I have little to no control over the left side of my body, when I fall I always fall to the left and my damaged side seems to take the brunt of the fall each time. I never enjoy the experience of falling, laying wherever I have landed until the Ambulance service can attend to me and get me back up onto my feet. We thought my balance issues might be resolved when I got my new hearing aides, but I have fallen since. I feel the necessity to explain that I walk around inside our home I move my left leg by swinging from the hip joint, it’s not pretty but it works. I cannot see any funny side, perhaps I should, but I get hurt I’m highly confident that there have not been any broken bones but I have caused some serious bruising both internally and externally. This latest fall, last week, has left me feeling like I should have taken the Ambulance guys offer of a trip to hospital; if or when I fall again I shall. I have been assessing why I said no. This is an interesting question as I suspect that nearly everyone reading this will think that I was silly not to go to hospital. Well one reason is I have had some very unpleasant experiences in hospitals, but is that enough of a reason?

I tell myself that it is. I have no wish to cost the stretched public system any further than it is already stretched. But is that reason good enough? The short answer is no it is not. So I ask myself what is the problem?

Now I get to the grit. My personal bad hospital experiences have been many and I find that as I am often not patient with people as I would chose to be; that I do not wish to be in a place where I am in an unfamiliar environment and having to be attended to by people who are only half doing their job, I mean no nastiness to nurses at all, however over the last 11 years too often has my wife watched as a nurse is giving me the wrong medicine or an incorrect dose of medicine. When you are on some of the stuff I’m on those errors have the potential of being fatal.

I suppose I am displaying the signs of age, I like to be in our house where I know with 100% surety that I can sit down and be comfortable, I can’t be comfortable in just any chair. In our house I have things arranged just so for me, my comfy chair, which I am in at present or my office chair, which is also comfortable for me or I could be in what I call my breakfast chair in the backroom. I enjoy sitting in that chair as on two days each week one of our Grandchildren will be playing there and I love the interaction I get. The other place I could be found is sitting in the backyard in my electric wheelchair again watching Grandchildren playing, usually Kenan, who has taken to immediately upon arriving at our place of walking to the back door and yelling out “outside” “outside” until someone either directs his attention elsewhere or they take him outside and I usually follow. Oh, I do like sitting on our small front verandah too, but not so much for the last 6 months.

But I also think about being realistic, as I am a pragmatist. Is it time I used my wheelchair inside to avoid the risk of falling? Although that may seem like a simple answer it isn’t really. I think the best I can do is take my own question on advisement and see how things go. I’m trying not to be an old man before my time. Maybe my fast-paced life has caught up to me and now I have to pay the price, but I find no Scripture to back that idea, while I find the concept of long life far more prevalent.


Deuteronomy 5: 33 says

Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.

Psalm 90:10

Our days may come to seventy years,
or eighty, if our strength endures;
yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

Proverbs 9:11

For through wisdom[ your days will be many,
and years will be added to your life.

Proverbs 10:27

The fear of the Lord adds length to life,
but the years of the wicked are cut short.

Even the Ten Commandments speak of us having a long life in:

Exodus 20:12

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

But, do I want a long life getting to say 90? Well if I have to live those years in my current disabled state I’d say I would prefer not to; however, if Papa God wants me to do so, then I bow to His Omniscience and say OK, guide my hand and my path please, for this is just too hard.

Inclusive or Exclusive

This past week I was confronted with the reality of my physical disability, not that that doesn’t happen everyday, because it does, it was just due to two days in particular Wednesday and Friday. On Wednesday I took part in an event designed to highlight every aspect of life needs to be inclusive of all people. I suppose that doesn’t make much sense to some people, as not everyone understands just how simple things can mean a person in a wheelchair or someone who uses a walking stick can be easily left out or restricted from participating. E.g. I wanted to attend some art classes early this year and one class I found the man teaching the class assured me that I would fit in and the venue was fine, except you can get down a step. I was dumbfounded, he knew I was in a wheelchair so I became a little belligerent and said, I am in a wheelchair and it is not a Four wheel drive and no I could not go down one step or the gutter for that matter. I was furious. Well last Wednesday a group of disabled people, many with their carers and supporters and me walked down the main street of one of the largest cities in Western Sydney. We march/wheeled in an act that said we want to be included in life we expect every aspect of life to be assessable to us. I met some amazing people, most of whom were far more disabled than I am. I found myself being grateful that my level of disability was only what it is. I saw smiling faces of beautiful young souls delighted at being out and involved in something. I enjoyed talking to some supporters and patrons.

On Friday I attended an arts and disability expo in inner Sydney. I thoroughly enjoyed collecting a stack of brochures from all manner of services and organisations. No one involved was the least putout by people in wheelchairs or like me quite deaf as well as physically disabled. They had made some deal with one of the Taxi companies, Taxis combined, to provide a free shuttle service from the closest railway station to the door of the expo.

Well, a week down the track and life is back to normal whatever that is; I feel the one place where any disabled person should be welcome and included, the church, is actually one of the worst offenders of being exclusive rather than inclusive.